April 2011
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the Lazenby effect
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the tendency for the day after a really good day to be an utterly shitty one, a karmic circuit breaker that recalibrates your capacity to savor subsequent success, a periodic whipcrack that twists your flatlining trajectory into a heartbeat curve that leaves you shaken, not stirred.
I will spam you with this tumblr forever
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name-dripping
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the frustration of always having to spell out your last name, which is a garbled and timeworn souvenir left over from a medieval craze where people started identifying their status by flaunting their hometown, occupation or appearance, which was rendered obsolete by the invention of the Facebook profile.
F-U-J-I-W-A-R-A
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the hesitation waltz
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. the act of deciding whether to give a departing acquaintance a hug or a handshake, calculated by measuring your relative orbits, how long it takes your signals to bounce back, and the proximity of a close friend who just gave them a hug, whose massive gravitational force could slingshot you into a long-distance wave.
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waldosia
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. [Brit. wallesia] a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
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aimonomia
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
n. fear that learning the name of something—a bird, a constellation, an attractive stranger—will somehow ruin it, transforming a lucky discovery into a conceptual husk pinned in a glass case, which leaves one less mystery to flutter around your head, trying to get in.
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wytai
dictionaryofobscuresorrows:
acronym [“when you think about it”] a feature of modern society that suddenly strikes you as absurd and grotesque—from zoos and milk-drinking to organ transplants, life insurance and fiction—part of the faint background noise of absurdity that reverberates from the moment our ancestors first crawled out of the slime but could not for the life of them remember what...
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Pin ups
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